The Deepest Secret: A Kin to Loyalty series
by cinnysangel
Summary: Exploring The Dixon's life before the apocalypse. Merle and Daryl spend time with their cousins Jesse James and Randi Jean. During the fun a dark secret about Uncle Frank emerges.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

It was a hot summer evening when Randi Dixon showed up on Daryl's doorstep. With a wide smile she enticed "I hear the quarry's open."

"Shit…" Merle smiled at his five foot six brunet cousin. He lifted Randi off of her feet into a huge bear hug. "It's always open for us."

Daryl had a rare smile on his face. He was happy when Randi decided to come home. His little cousin was always moving from one place or another. Last he heard she was in California. Some people thought she was running from her past and her dysfunctional family, but Daryl knew Randi always wanted to see the world. Besides the sooner she got away from her fucked up old man the better.

Daryl smacked Merle on the arm. "Hey, dickhead, how about letting us get a chance."

Merle laughed. "Fat chance fuck-face, she's my little sissy."

Randi's older brother Jesse was asleep on the couch until Randi showed up. Happily he smiled at his sister. "When did you get back?"

"This Morning." Randi answered. "Don't go whining that I didn't call sooner. I had some errands to run. And I went to see mom."

.

At the mention of Jesse and Randi's dead mother the room grew silent. Out of all the Dixon women Cheryl Dixon was the best. She felt like a mom to all of them. Sadly it was short lived because she left Frank when she discovered she had breast cancer. It moved quickly and took her life within months. Randi was only eight at the time and her older brother Jesse was ten. Merle had already run away right after his last stay in juvie. He was about to turn eighteen and enlist in the service. Frank would leave the kids at the house and he and Will, Daryl and Merle's old man, would disappear for days. Daryl felt responsible for his younger cousins although he was only twelve at the time. It was up to him to make sure the younger ones ate and got up for school.

Merle reluctantly put Randi down and she eagerly hugged Daryl and Jesse. "Enough of all this depressing shit. I'm here to celebrate." She went to the door grabbing her purse and a six pack of Merle's favorite beer. She handed one to each of them and held her bottle high. "Here's to Merle finally getting off parole!"

…

They finished the beer on the way to the quarry. Merle drove and Randi sat in the front with him. Daryl and Jesse climbed into the bed of the truck. Daryl sat quietly, lost in his own thoughts, while Jesse stood up and pounded on the roof of the cab as he hollered at passing cars. People honked at them or joined in the party atmosphere by yelling out their own windows and giving the "rock on" fist pump. At a red light one chick lifted her shirt and pressed her tits to the passenger side window of her car. Merle held his fingers up in a v and wiggled his tongue between then in a rude gesture. When the light turned green he burned rubber, sending the truck in a fish tail and making Jesse land on his ass.

Merle turned onto a gravel road, driving fifty feet before pulling off into a worn down section of tall grass. Jesse and Daryl ignored the tailgate, opting to hop over the side of the truck bed. They grabbed the fixings for a redneck surf and turf; another six pack of beer, a pack of frozen hotdogs, and their fishing gear. Jesse ran ahead of them down the gravel roadway towards a section where the overgrowth narrowed and a rusted chain stretched across from one cement pylon to another. In the center of the chain was a do not enter sign supporting six bullet holes. Jesse hurdled the sign but Merle chose to duck under it and punch the sign on his way through. The sound waved through the sheet metal and echoed down through the canyon.

Daryl lifted the chain high enough to clear the fishing pole as Randi went under. When he was on the other side of the chain he shifted Randi's backpack on his shoulders and readjusted the tackle box and the poles he was carrying. The backpack was heavy and he heard bottles clink inside. "What do ya have in here?" He called to Randi.

She turned around, walking backwards, smiling at him. "You'll see. Hurry up!"

Merle was almost to the rocky beach at the water's edge. He yelled, "Move it, Darleena. Quit dragging ass!"

.

Vegetation grew in sporadic spots along the half-moon section of shore. Most of it was scorched from the heat. The beach was manmade many years ago. Most of the sand was swallowed up by gravel and caked in dried mud. A section of sand remained untouched to the right of the entrance. In the center of the sandy area was a fire pit flanked by two weathered logs.

Daryl propped the poles up along the logs and set the rest of the stuff into the sand. "Maybe if you'd carry more than the six pack, I would have gotten here sooner."

Merle laughed. "I got all I need right here, baby brother. " He pulled a baggie out of his pocket.

Daryl rolled his eyes as soon as he saw the drugs. "Can't even go one day…" He mumbled under his breath.

Merle huffed. "Who pissed in yer Cheerio's? It certainly wasn't me." Merle smirked when Daryl glared at him in a way that said, you know why.

Merle put a firm hand on the back of Daryl's neck and leaned in close to his ear. "Time to move on. Or maybe we need to let the cat outta the bag, hmm? Either way, fine by me." He ran his hand up Daryl's neck and slapped him in the back of the head. "Crawl out of yer own asshole, brother. Lighten up a little."

 **xxx**

"We should've got some rolls." Randi said as she held a hot dog over the fire.

"Nah these are good like this." Jesse blew on the hotdog he had skewered onto a long stick. "Daryl, this one's done too." He added as he pulled a second stick from the fire.

Daryl stood at the water's edge staring out to the deepest part of the quarry where the cliff edge was the highest. In the past people had fallen to their death from that fifty foot drop. And Daryl knew a guy who tried to scale the wall in some half-baked repelling idea. His body hadn't been recovered for weeks. There were also stories of people getting sucked under by the current from the underground caverns. The quarry was off limits to swimming and fishing yet almost everyone in these parts did it at one time or another. Lately though with water parks drawing more attention, the quarry was ignored. Best thing to happen, in Daryl's opinion. He wished the road would grow closed with shrubbery and people would forget about this place completely.

He looked out along the rock wall and found the crack he knew was caused by an underground spring. He estimated how far up from the water it was. In the last year it seemed to be moving higher up the wall when in fact it was the water level that was shrinking. Daryl silently asked himself what happened if the water receded enough to reveal all of the secrets buried in this quarry.

.

"Yo cuz?" Jesse laughed when Daryl didn't respond to his question. Jesse pretended to use a walkie-talkie with sound effects. "Earth to Daryl, come in fucker!"

Randi asked, "You not hungry?" as Daryl turned towards them.

"Get yer ass over here boy! I got something that'll give ya the munchies." Merle took a hit off his joint and held it out to Daryl.

Randi intercepted it. With a wink she said, "I'd say this shit's illegal if ya ask me. Aren't ya on parole or something?" She took a hit, held it for a minute, and then passed it off to Jesse. Randi blew the smoke out nice and slow. "Why do you always have to give him shit?" She focused on Merle as a grin formed on her face. "You know he doesn't like it. He likes this!" Randi pulled out a large bottle of Jack Daniels from her bag, Merle grabbed at it. "Not so fast…Daryl gets this one. We…we can work on…" She made a show of pulling the second bottle from the bag.

Merle laughed deep. "What else you got in there?"

"Never you mind. A girl can't reveal all her secrets."

.

Daryl turned back to the water. His shirt was sticking to his clammy skin making him wish he could take it off. His scars kept him from doing it. He really just wanted to hang out with Randi and Jesse but they wanted to do it here. This place gave him the creeps. He hadn't gone swimming here since he was a teen because every time he tried he could imagine a dead icy hand coming up from the depths and pulling him under. Maybe he saw too many horror flicks as a kid. He cast a glance over his shoulder. The poles were forgotten about as soon as they were set down and Daryl wasn't in the partying mood anymore. He figured he'd be better off heading home instead of watching these dopes laugh their asses off at nothing.

.

As Daryl was debating on staying, Randi snuck up behind him and gave him a fake "saved your life" style shove. Daryl lurched forward, over corrected, and almost ended up in the water anyway. "Quit screwing around!" He barked.

Randi laughed loud and long. "You should have seen your face! Aw come on Daryl, live a little. I brought you something." She dangled the bottle in front of him. "I know you want to. Just one sip? See it is asking for it. Drink me, Daryl." She danced the bottle around. He didn't reach for it so she cracked the seal and took a long chug. Randi coughed and sucked air as the liquid burned her throat. She was knee deep into the water before she realized it.

"Gimme that and get out of there!" He snatched the bottle from her but she didn't come out. Daryl watched as she stripped off her t-shirt and jeans, getting down to her bra and panties. "We are not swimming!" He warned again.

"Watch me! She dove beneath the surface. Daryl waited for her to come back up and after too long he began to panic. "RANDI!" He dropped the bottle in the gravel and charged into the chest high water going under a couple of times to look for her. "RANDI!" He swiped at the water as if he could move it out of the way and she would magically appear. "MERLE! I CAN'T FIND HER!"

Merle and Jesse came running and made it to the water's edge in time to see Randi surface. She splashed Daryl while laughing like she had pulled the biggest prank of all time.

Daryl got out of the water in a hurry. Every muscle in his body straining with anger. On the shore he screamed. "THAT WASN'T FUCKING FUNNY! I THOUGHT YOU DROWNED!" He put the bottle to his lips and chugged, ignoring the burn at the back of his throat and the way it spread to his chest. He lowered the bottle long enough to scold her again. "GET OUT OF THERE!"

Randi wadded to him. "I'm sorry. We always swim here, been doing it since we were kids. All of us." To prove her point Jesse stripped and jumped in with Merle following close behind.

Daryl crossed his arms over his chest. "We're not kids anymore although some of us act like it."

"Come on Daryl did you really get too old to have some fun? We're Dixons. We're not afraid of nothing including a little runoff pond." She splashed him again.

"Quit! I said quit. You are going to pay!" He chased her until the water was too deep to run in and once they were out there Daryl forgot about how uncomfortable this place made him feel.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Daryl didn't know what the hell he was thinking wearing all his clothes to go swimming. His shoes were soaked. Jesse relit the camp fire and they laid their stuff out to dry. They passed the bottles back and forth until the sun went down. The old stories began to tumble out and Daryl found himself laughing a lot.

Randi watched Jesse. He was the spitting image of a nineteen year Daryl. It was uncanny how much they looked like. The only difference being Jesse had a little more height and Jesse kept that lean runner's body as opposed to packing on muscle like Daryl.

.

"Hey shithead…" Randi leaned on Merle's back as he sat on a log facing the fire. "You got any marshmallows at yer place?"

"Sheeet, who you talking to girl?" Merle took a hit off his cigarette and blew the smoke out through his nose. "Your old man was just as fucked as ours. Wasn't no fuckin sittin around campfires…no hunt in the woods for no sticks neither, unless we 'bout ta get our asses beat. Ain't that right?" Merle looked at Jesse and then his eyes fell on Daryl and hung there for a moment. He turned his attention to Randi. "All but you. We used to think you got off easy. But yer scars run deeper…don't they?"

Randi took a seat next to Daryl on the log. Merle was an asshole when he drank. A tear rolled down her face at the memory of her childhood. She swiped it away.

Daryl slid over close to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. He was pissed at Merle for bringing this up now, yet he knew it had to come out. They all held at least one part of this secret their entire lives.

Jesse was on his feet, range coursing through his veins. He pointed at Merle, screaming, "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU PIECES OF SHIT! MOTHERFUCKER!"

"SIT DOWN!" Merle yelled back.

.

Everyone got quiet including the crickets and wildlife in the area. Eventually the crickets began chirping and a trio of bullfrogs croaked in the distance. Cicadas joined in and a log on the fire popped. Merle took a swig from the bottle and passed it to Daryl, then it made its rounds twice between all of them. Finally Randi spoke softly. "How long…" Her voice cracked and Daryl handed her the bottle again. She hugged the booze like a security blanket. "How long did you know?"

Merle spit into the dirt. Their fathers were brothers and not worth the air they breathed. Neither one of them held a job or a wife very long. All of them lived together for more time than they did not. Merle spoke softer than any of them heard him in years. "Always"

Daryl pulled Randi closer. She wept heavily against his chest. They used to hear her crying like this from the bedroom next to theirs. Merle spent most of his teen years locked up in detention so he wasn't any help. Jesse and Daryl wanted to kill her father, but they were young and didn't really know what was going on other than Frank Dixon made his daughter cry at night.

Jesse fought back tears of his own. "I wish I knew where that prick was right now. I'd fucking shoot his dick off! No, I'd kill that motherfucker!" He took a drink.

Merle and Daryl exchanged glances between them. Randi was quietly sniffling. Jesse kept talking. "I tried to find him. Last year I found a Frank Dixon in New Jersey. I drove up there with my glock and waited outside the fucker's apartment for two days." He laughed at the memory. "Turns out he was this twenty year old tweaker that kept peeking out through the blinds on the first floor. We ended up getting stoned together after he figured out I wasn't the fuzz and I realized we ain't kin."

Merle's voice got low and dangerous. "Quit looking for that asshole. I mean it, Jesse! Quit stirring the pot."

.

Randi was on her feet and pacing. She knew just by the tone of Merle's voice he had done something. She wanted her father to pay for what he did and she would love Merle more than she did if he had defended her. However, she worried he would get caught and go back to jail. "Merle, please tell me the old fuck isn't going to be pressing charges because you beat his ass."

She waited for Merle to explain what happened. When he didn't she looked at Daryl and stopped in her tracks. He refused to make eye contact. Daryl was sometimes quiet and withdrawn but he never was afraid to look at someone straight on. She knew with family Daryl felt the most comfortable so when he avoided looking at her she realized what was going on instantly. "You killed him!" Daryl's eyes shot up and he stared at her. Randi didn't catch the reason for his shocked expression. She turned to Merle thinking he was the one that had all the answers. "When did you do it?"

Merle never avoided anyone. In fact he loved a conflict. If there was ever anyone more opinionated than he was he wanted to meet them and prove 'em wrong. This time though he looked past Randi and through the fire to his baby brother. All the time he razzed Daryl to no end calling him a pussy or Darlena was to remind him that he wasn't as tough as his big brother. But that day with Frank, Merle realized his little brother had some balls.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Merle was due off the bus in an hour. He finally earned himself a permanent discharge from the Marines. Daryl knew the parting was mutual, Merle wanted to get the hell out of there just as much as the US government wanted Merle gone. Daryl worried what Merle would be like when he got back home. Did being away all these years change him? Not knowing was stressing Daryl out.

Their house, a three story white stucco, was located at the bottom of a long dirt driveway which was littered with broken down cars and tractor parts. The front yard was mostly dirt and weeds. Daryl compulsively fussed with the couch pillows and straightened a stack of old "Field and Stream" magazines. The room was dark in spite of the noon day sun. Two large trees provided most of the shade and hid a quarter of the second story. What little light that managed to get through the trees was blocked by the dusty drapes and the wood paneling. He didn't mind the darkness of the room because their kitchen was brighter and he could see everything he wanted to see from the glow coming from the backdoor. The first floor was basically two rooms, kitchen and living room. Both were rectangular shaped, with the living room being the slightly bigger room by feet not space because of a closet at the foot of a stairwell which ran half of the back wall. In the kitchen there was a table with four chairs, a metal fifties style cabinet, farm sink, gas stove, a small fridge, and the door to the basement.

Even though Daryl was only nineteen he was able to get a forty of colt forty five from Merle's pal Animal at the club. He checked to make sure the beer was getting cold. It wasn't Merle's favorite but it would have to do. He checked to make sure the bread wasn't moldy and he restacked the lunchmeat and cheese in their empty refrigerator. The old man was on a bender and no one knew where the hell Frank was. Daryl assumed the two of them were holed up at the truck stop again. Better they were gone anyway. Will, Frank, and Merle were like oil and water, they just didn't mix.

.

Daryl looked at the time again. He smirked when he thought of having Merle back home. It would feel good to have someone in the house again. Not only did his father and uncle leave, Jesse and Randi had taken off back in May. They left to go work for a carnival in Florida and wouldn't be back until late September. Daryl hadn't wanted Randi to go. She was only fifteen but she had insisted on doing it. He finally agreed when she explained that she didn't want to be here when Frank came back. It was hard on Randi when Frank was between women. This last time Daryl swore he would make sure Frank couldn't come get her.

.

Daryl suddenly remembered Merle's bedroom. Randi was using it as her own and Merle would be pissed if she changed anything. He ran up the steps and down the hall to the bedroom. Daryl was nervously chewing his fingernails as he spot checked everything in the bedroom. The sound of a car got his attention. He looked out the window and saw a cab making its way down the potholed driveway. Assuming it was Merle, Daryl mumbled under his breath. "I told that fucker I'd pick him up." He went back to searching the bedroom when he heard the backdoor open in the kitchen. And a voice he didn't expect called out.

"Randi, come give your daddy a proper welcome home." Frank stepped through the doorway to the living room and his eyes didn't adjust to the darkness. "Why the fuck you ain't never have a gotdamn light on in here? Where are ya girl?"

.

Daryl's bedroom was at the top of the stairs above the kitchen. He crept down the hallway hoping that Frank would think no one was home. He got halfway there when a loose floor board squeaked under his foot.

Frank's voice came from the bottom of the steps as Daryl was slipping behind his partially closed door. "I told you I don't like these fucking games! DON'T HIDE FROM ME!" Frank staggered as he made his way up the steps. "You owe me." He slurred.

Daryl felt his temper rising. Randi didn't owe him anything. He clenched his hands so tightly into fists he could feel his jagged, chewed nails cutting into his palms. Daryl's heart began to race making it hard for him to breathe. He gulped in air trying to remain as quiet as possible.

Frank stood four steps from the top and listened. His voice echoed off the bare walls as he yelled. "YOU THINK I'M FUCKING STUPID I CAN HEAR YOU BREATHING IN THERE! GET OUT HERE NOW YOU LITTLE BITCH!" Frank laughed as he staggered against the wall again. He changed his tone to almost a singsong way, "Come on, you don't have to worry. I won't get you pregnant again."

Daryl could not believe what he was hearing. The baby was his. Rage coursed through Daryl's veins as images of a terrified Randi at the abortion clinic. He knew how scared she was when she found out she was pregnant at fourteen years old. He took care of her during the cramping and bleeding and listened to her bawl herself to sleep every night. He watched her blame herself and turn to drugs all because this sick motherfucker couldn't keep his fucking hands off his own daughter.

.

Daryl flung the door open with such force it slammed against the wall. The door knob broke through the drywall and stuck to the wall and stayed there. Frank froze in place at the top of the steps. Daryl saw fear flash in his uncle's eyes. He grabbed hold of Frank's shirt making his feet lift off the ground. "You sick bastard." Daryl forced through clenched teeth. "You ever come near her again I'll fucking kill you!" He seethed. Every muscle strained with pent up rage. "YOU HEAR ME? I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!"

Frank struggled to get his footing. He looked at Daryl and smirked. "You don't have any proof. She won't tell anyone. You know why?"

"SHUT UP!" Daryl warned.

Frank couldn't stop talking. His face was getting redder by the second and he dug his nails into Daryl's forearms. Spit formed at the corners of his mouth "She won't tell because she liked it! She wanted it!"

Daryl's arms were shaking and his jaw hurt from clenching his teeth. He looked Frank in the eyes and pushed him backwards. Frank hung over the stairwell. The only thing keeping him from falling was the grip Daryl had on his shirt. Daryl looked into Frank's eyes. Quietly Daryl said as he let go of Frank with a shove, "You'll rot in hell."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The image of Frank's arms flailing wildly as he tried desperately to grab onto Daryl to keep himself from falling down the stairs was burned into Daryl's memory. He could see it as if it had just happened moments ago. Merle, Jesse, and Randi sat silent as he recalled what happened that day. He could see the tears glistening as they streaked down Randi's face. Jesse was chain smoking and staring at the fire. Daryl couldn't tell if they were happy it was over or if his cousins hated him. He ran his hands through his hair. Finally he admitted, "I didn't think the fall would kill him."

Randi looked at the campfire. It had burned down to embers and none of them moved to add anymore logs. A few minutes ticked by before she turned her eyes up to look at Daryl again. "What happened? Where is he?"

...

Frank's feet rolled up over his head as he tumbled down the steps and landed in a crumpled heap at the bottom. Daryl ran down the steps after him. He stood on the second step towering over the man. "YOU EVER COME HERE AGAIN I'LL FUCKIN…" Daryl expected his uncle to be moaning or trying to get up but the man was completely still. He waited a few minutes then he took his foot and pushed Frank onto his back. The air seemed to be sucked out of the room as Daryl watched Frank's lifeless body flop over with his neck bent at an unnatural angle.

Daryl jumped over Frank and landed on the living room carpet. He whispered, oh fuck, as he knelt next to his uncle's body. Pressing his ear to his chest he listened to nothing, no heartbeat, no pulse…nothing. Frank was dead.

The phone kept ringing in the kitchen ten fifteen times, over and over until Daryl realized what the sound was. He walked out and picked up without saying a word.

"Where the fuck are ya?" Merle barked to the dead air. "Hello? What the fuck you gotta say for yerself, boy?"

"Merle?" Daryl's voice sounded weak.

"Who the fuck ya think it is? Get yer ass over here and pick me up!" Merle slammed the phone into the cradle, disconnecting before Daryl could answer.

For a moment Daryl couldn't remember where "here" was, then he knew Merle was talking about the bus station. He grabbed his keys ignoring Frank's body. On the way to the truck he reassured himself, "Merle would know what to do."

.

Merle was outside the bus station smoking a cigarette and was flirting with a woman when Daryl pulled up with the truck. He had one arm draped over the top of the payphone. She laughed too loudly at something Merle said close to her ear. Daryl left the truck running. He climbed out and got in on the passenger side. Merle looked at him with curiosity. Something was definitely wrong with his little brother. The woman yelled at Merle about a ride but he ignored her and drove off.

They got about a mile away from the bus station when Merle finally asked. "What the fuck is wrong with you, boy?"

Daryl didn't want to answer. He was happy the fucker was dead though he couldn't figure out how to make it all go away. Merle would be pissed, the cops would come, and Daryl knew he would finally get his chance at the Dixon legacy…prison time.

Merle widely pulled the car over to the side of the road. People yelled and honked their horns while giving him the finger. "You cost me a piece of ass back there so you better start talking or I'm gonna knock yer teeth down yer fucking throat."

Daryl kept his eyes leveled with the dash. He thought if he looked at Merle he wouldn't be able to keep from crying. You're a pussy, he thought. A god damn pussy. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat. Nothing was helping him shake this fear. Finally he whispered, "I killed somebody."

Merle never expected Daryl to say those words. He lit a cigarette and handed it to him. He lit one for himself too and smoked about half of it. "Who?" Was all he asked.

Daryl was getting close to hysterics. "Uncle Frank! I killed that prick!"

...

Jesse stood up. He threw a log out into the quarry. "I wish I was there to see that fuickin asshole take his last motherfuckin breath. Where is he so I can piss on his grave?"

Merle nudged his chin toward the quarry. Randi felt a shiver run down her spine. "There? He's in THERE?" Suddenly she felt like she needed a shower. "You cannot be serious." She searched Daryl's eyes and knew it was true. "Oh my God!"

Merle spit into the dirt. He always did that when he was done with something. And Daryl knew Merle was done talking about this whole story. His voice got low and mean as he explained what happened next. "We packed him up in the truck and let it roll off the cliff. Shit he had enough booze in his blood that no one would have believed anything other than the drunk motherfucker drove himself into that quarry. B'sides ain't anyone give a damn anyway."

They made a pact that day never to come back to the quarry again. Jesse and Randi kept their promise but Merle and Daryl did come back… the day the dead really could reach up out of the water and grab you.

 **The End**


End file.
